Spit up and the Suburbs

The next day in the sleepy subdivision of Almería, on a seemingly-ordinary morning, complete with signature Florida blue skies, birds chirping, and a soft breeze fighting its way through thick, humid air, history was made. 

Indeed, Alyssa could barely believe what she was witnessing, and found herself wondering if it was the fact that she’d been up all night with her toddler—who still never seemed to sleep for more than a few hours at a time without needing his blanket adjusted, socks taken off, or socks put back on—or that her coffee wasn’t quite as strong as usual, that her eyes were seemingly deceiving her.

Was this really happening? Was Lanie Lamond, right there in the flesh, making her son Conner apologize to the unicorn-dress-clad daughter of a lowly, non-PMS Club mom, and right up by the school for everyone to witness? To be fair, without a crowd, who would have believed this unlikely interaction even took place? 

Of course, her ripped jeans and Louis Vuitton mules, perfect-fitting, crisp, stain-free white tee-shirt, and polished ponytail suggested she was 100% unbothered on this early morning mission. Another signal Lanie was sending out that she was still very much in control despite essentially being virtually pressured to offer a public mea culpa? She was clutching a “Real Housewives of Almería” travel coffee mug and managing to sip from it even as she power walked away from Conner’s wildly-careening scooter as he made his way into the gated school parking pad, post-apology.

Despite this impressive facade, did Alyssa detect the slightest put-out grimace on the Range Rover queen’s face? Was she truly as detached from this forced communal reckoning as she seemed?

All Alyssa knew is that the unexpected moment marked a very small victory for all the nameless morning warriors who didn’t have the chutzpah to comment underneath Linny’s comment calling out Lanie.

Alyssa also knew all too well that Lanie forcing her son to say “sorry” to one of many kiddos her son had probably tormented on his scooter didn’t mean the mom mafia was out of business. But the occasion solidified that her alter ego could indeed wield her powers for the good of the oppressed mom masses who’d served too long under the PMS Club regime. It also meant that Steph, who’d taken a huge leap of faith when she agreed to allow Alyssa to try this little social experiment, wasn’t going to kick her, er Linny, out of the group just yet. And, it meant that the next move she made had to aim for an even bigger result.

She couldn’t wait to get home from the morning school run and plan.