Spit up and the Suburbs

It was the same scenario every weekend, as predictable as an Almería mom scheduling a Botox treatment before a holiday card photo shoot. 

The moms in the Keadons’ former town of Bannock Beach excluded others in a slightly different fashion than the PMS Club of Almería. Indeed, every afternoon you could find them positioned in their puzzlingly-protective “inner circle,” with their beach chairs arranged in—you guessed it—a circle. It was a tight circle at that, so if you weren’t part of the “inner circle,” you literally couldn’t inch your chair into their airtight configuration of popped collars, perfectly-pedicured feet, and Pinot Grigio poured into Corkcicle wine glasses, without coming off as desperate, that is.

Awkwardly, Alyssa and her friend JoJo had taken to positioning their own beach chairs just outside of the big circle, so they could still see their kids play in the water down by the beach; although, their view was obstructed by the rest of the moms who brought their brood down to the beach each weekday around 3 p.m. post-naptime and before their husbands returned from work. This small window of time allowed the moms to imbibe just enough wine to make it to bedtime, at which point they likely uncorked another bottle to share with their exhausted men, before passing out side-by-side in bed, and doing it all over the very next day.

Meanwhile, Alyssa and JoJo delighted in jokingly calling their twosome the “outer circle.” It was funny, sure, but also a little sad. Or perhaps it was really sad. They didn’t care—that much. Until it mattered. A lot. But we’ll get to that.

For now, what you need to know is that Alyssa had hoped Almería would be different from Bannock Beach, with its exclusionary logistics and pre-established friend groups. No such luck. Not that the “inner circle” ladies and their afternoon cocktail parties was the reason the Keadons left the community. Well, not exactly. Why Alyssa had to leave Bannock Beach was much worse. What happened to her there haunted her every single day of her life, even seven years later. But again, we’re jumping ahead.

At the present moment, now that she was settled in Almería, Alyssa had come to the unsettling realization that no matter what she did, the Tory Burch-wielding moms here were just as intent on not scooching their beach chairs over as the Bannock Beach ladies had been. 

And Alyssa had finally had enough.